Often when you meet another person with diabetes there is an instant connection between the two of you. An understanding that is unspoken and felt deeply. Why is this? Is it because the other person understands the emotional burden of living with diabetes and feels it too? To me it seems like a good possibility. Many feelings are associated with the diagnosis of diabetes, as well as feelings associated with living with this chronic condition. Many times over the years I could sum up how I felt with two words: anger and depression.
I spent countless years angry and depressed, barely taking care of my diabetes. None of my doctors told me that diabetic patients are prone to depression, they just offered me pills and sent me on my way. I figured it must just be me-after all, my body wasn’t working right, why would my brain be any better? Now doctors are realizing that there is a link between people living with chronic illnesses and depression. Now there is more hope that newly diagnosed diabetics will not have to suffer through what some diabetes vetrans such as myself suffered through. Shame, guilt, anger, and depression are complications of diabetes that few health care providers talk about. These are complications that no one should have to experience. I promise in future posts to delve deeper into the emotional side of this disease. I welcome any suggestions of topics from you guys!
In a recent post I shared with you guys about getting my new tattoo. This tattoo symbolized reaching a level of acceptance and inner peace regarding my diabetes and how it affects the other areas of my life. It is a permanent reminder that no matter how I try to pretend I am not diabetic or ignore my health, diabetes is always there. It is part of who I am and now I am stronger for it. I don’t have all the answers by any means but I now understand how much I have to learn and I am open to the experience of learning more.
TATTOO UPDATE-The tattoo is now 2 weeks old and healing wonderfully! It is amazing how much better I heal when my blood sugars are in normal range! I am healing at about the same rate as my sister, who doesn’t have diabetes. This is new, uncharted territory for us, healing at the same rate. We are planning on getting matching tattoos on her next visit.